Newness

http://beeinrome.tumblr.com/

animals

meh

hair experiment was about as successful as could be expected. I can straighten it in an hour (half the time compared to before the brazilian blowout), but it's by no means straight on its own. Less frizzy, sure. But still curly.
muthafuckah.

So, my adventure to Rome will be conducted with the same nest on my head as before, unless I can convince myself to take time out of exploring the wonders of the ancient world to confine myself in my convent room and put a hot iron to my scalp-protrusions.
Rude.

It's rainy and boring, and people are leaving for school before me, which makes me feel anxious about my own departure. I need to buy things. And make decisions.

Nay! I will take other route, and wait until the last minute and do nothing productive until the parentals are screaming at me about all of the tampons and toothpastes I need to purchase, and the giant suitcases that need to be excavated from the depths of the attic and filled with the clothing that is now displayed in writhing disorder on my floor and chair.

Instead of doing anything productive, I will create a new blog, one with a function (previously attempted, but my life had no function then- now I have a destination, something mildly intriguing). PapaDs and Nanas and cousins and neighbors and siblings and friends and parents will be sent a mass e-mail with the web address of said blog. Some of them will read for a few weeks, then realize that looking at someone else's adventures is a really boring and self-deprecating activity, and stop reading for self-preservation (understandable). Others will read when they have nothing better to do, and I will appreciate even that attention (as I will only be posting when I have nothing better to do). And, the last group will look at the e-mail, and delete it, either because:

• it was a mass e-mail
• they don't care about my adventures in europe
• blogs are annoying online diaries

back soon.

just a taste

Above: Picture of me in my natural state. Rawr.

Experiment

A few things:
1. This blog is on its last leg, and will be replaced shortly by one that chronicles my adventures in europe (whose name and address I will divulge when I make it).

2. I am conducting a hair experiment. I have a head of hair that has often been compared to a lion's mane, mop, and bird's nest, among many other things. Personally, I think these descriptions represent the unruliness well, but do not give any insight as to how curly and thick it is. I can't think of anything that it could be compared to, really. It's pretty unreal.

So, after a lifetime of looking for a way to straighten it without spending any real amount of time doing so, I was sent an e-mail from my brother-in-law (who has been the witness of many whine-fests). His boss has crazy hair, not unlike mine, and came in with straight, beautiful healthy-looking hair. Apparently, she got a Brazilian Blow-Out, and the results are amazing.

After much thought and conversations with objective parties (I'm prone to try anything, so I need consultation when this kind of information presents itself), I have made an appointment for friday to get this thing done. I've been reading reviews and getting pumped up about it for a week, now, and can hardly contain myself.

Everyone whines about how you can't shower for 3 days after getting it done, but they're being pussies. I've definitely gone longer without even thinking about it. Championnn

Anyway, I'll report back about how it goes. I can't imagine it can get any worse, so chances are it will be full of exclamation points and words like "amazing" and "hassle-free" and "not a lion's mane".

fiesta fiesta

summer is the best.

oh man

Above: perfectly toasted marshmallows about to be transferred onto the ultimate s'more.

I was unaware

Why Philadelphia is infinitely better than Hartford
1. Grid vs. Random bullshit city layout with non-alternating one-way streets that make it impossible to get anywhere
2. Food. Although Hartfords local restaurants are kind of legit, Philadelphia has many more. And we have Reading Terminal Market and a Chinatown.
3. A large part of Philadelphia is not ghetto. The same can't be said of Hartford.
4. Disparity.
5. Our mayor may have bad teeth, but Hartfords was just convicted of embezzlement, extortion, and general shittiness.
6. Shopping: Moderate vs. None.
7. Parks: Philadelphia has many, and is friendly to dogs. Hartford has one, and it smells like homeless people. I'm pretty sure there aren't dogs in Connecticut.
8. Winter: 3 months vs. 6
9. Public Transportation: No subway, which means it's impossible to get anywhere, unless you take the bus that doesn't run on schedule at all. So you're most likely to be left standing helpless in the ghetto, as you wait for a bus full of homeless people to pick you up, being harassed by more homeless people and local high-schoolers that inherently hate you.

sweat beads

it's super hot
(my dad turned the air conditioning off)
I've watched 3 seasons of 30 rock in the last 3 days
(not for the first time, either)
I'm thinking about not eating ever again because my arms are the size of a ham.
(not actually, I love white cheddar mac'n'cheese)
I love john mayer.

fo drizzle

today on facebook, there was an ad for an umbrella... "fo drizzle"

today in my room, I choked on tea, coughed, and then threw up the tea. It was so weird.

This weekend was "spring weekend"
it was insane, but I hardly participated.
I was kind of a zombie, and my lungs are now suffering
there was some pretty awesome stuff
on the quad at 2pm on Saturday there were:
4 beer pong tables
a 4-story tall funnel
2 bean-bag toss drinking games (there's a name for it...)
3 dizzy-bat competitions
and so much weed.

I was mildly overwhelmed.

I am really looking forward to Robin Hood and Iron Man 2

I have yet to begin sewing, but have recieved so many supplies.
My laziness is astounding sometimes

I ate an entire bag of tostitos, accompanied by Salsa con Queso on tuesday
muy rico.

4:30

... in the morning.
That's when I woke up today, because I couldn't fall asleep after having the most insane dream ever:

I had three little sisters
and I was watching TV in my living room with
twin, boyfriend, and said sisters.
I became possessed
and slaughtered all of them mercilessly.
It was horrifying.
Bugs came out of their faces for some reason.

so now (7:00am), I am in the library, pretending to write a paper that I didn't write yesterday
even though it's due in... 7 hours.

Fried Drag

Last night I went to a drag show. It was an excellent two hours. The lady gaga drag queen was the best thing that ever happened to me.


Except for the KFC Double Down, which I had for dinner tonight. It was also excellent. However, I can feel my blood thickening, and my fat cells expanding.
I highly recommend it.

Tuesday

On tuesdays I have one class and no work.
On tuesdays I watch movies with Yulez (today's film is Wall-e)
On tuesdays I only think about doing homework ahead of time
On tuesdays I sometimes shower
On tuesdays I hardly ever leave my room, except to get a grilled chizzle and french frizzles.


In other news:

Virginia is having a confederate history month. or war of northern aggression month. or something offensive and silly along those lines.

I might live in a freshman dorm for the 3rd year in a row next year

I have bumblebees in my room.



that is all.
Time to check the laundry and not shower

Royale with Cheese

My shit is so incredible right now.

I watched pulp fiction today to celebrate the end of the most incredibly hellish week of my life.
What a reward. I could not have picked anything more wonderful.
My mind was taken places I had no idea it could go. It was funny, and gross, and kinda cute sometimes (blueberry pie!) and really fucking scary at others.

I have made the executive decision to not work at all this summer.
Exponentially better summer plan than last year's.

I am going to rome in the fall

the bottom of my feet are kinda peeling?
Weirdly satisfying.


I am no longer pink in the shoulders. (and by pink I mean purply-red)
No peeling there (yet)

I ate pepperoni pizza 2 hours ago.
WOW

I can get more than 5 hours of sleep tonight.
Thinking about my dirty sheets makes me a little bit sad, though
but... Once my head hits the pillow
blammy.

out

ALSO
I saw an amazing concert a week ago (graced by the company of a gray+pink lady).
front row (standing amidst loud, sweaty, slutty, drunk people)


GOT MY A MACHINES ON THE TABLE, GOT MY B MACHINES IN THE DRAWER
GOT MY A MACHINES ON THE TABLE, GOT MY B MACHINES IN THE DRAWER
GOT MY A MACHINES ON THE TABLE, GOT MY B MACHINES IN THE DRAWER
GOT MY A MACHINES ON THE TABLE, GOT MY B MACHINES IN THE DRAWER
GOT MY A MACHINES ON THE TABLE, GOT MY B MACHINES IN THE DRAWER

so productive

Today I:
Made grilled cheese
imported all my "now that's what I call music" CDs into my iTunes. My mom found them in the attic. So much Jennifer Lopez just entered my life.

The Women

is a terrible terrible movie.
Do not watch it if you have any self-respect, or respect for (yes) other women.



The lesson: Cheaters are fine. Everyone does it, and only after you've been cheated on can you truly know yourself and meet your goals.

The truth: Cheating is never fine, even if it is Eva Mendez. Get out and fuck his car up.

excuse me?

"Hmmm... I'm going to sneak around behind my beautiful, successful, wonderful goddess-wife and cheat on her with...."
"THAT ONE! Yes, the one with the offensive tattoos and no color in her face. I think she's a vampire".


If Sandra Bullock can't hold her man down, the rest of us have no chance. Especially since they aren't evenly matched in the looks department. He should be desperate to stick around, because he obviously can't do any better (refer to the photo above).

rainy day in my spring break

I really love granola and yogurt
and japanese food

Did you know your liver can regenerate?

Not even Oprah could ruin 'Life'. Shit was incredible.

Misconception: that the word "vagina" refers to the whole unit down there. Really, it's just the hole + cavity. "Vulva" is the thing you're usually referring to. Accuracy is impressive in daily discourse.

guilty pleasures (other than tricking myself into thinking these things I say are interesting):

• telling my parents about things I learn in sex class to see if they squirm or not (today's experiment had an affirmative effect. "did you know that guys literally get boners their whole lives? Even in utero". My boyfriend was sitting at the table. In retrospect, probably not a great idea.
• watching "he's just not that into you" a lot. Terrible screenwriting and acting. Great vagina (ha!) movie.
• re-reading harry potter books whenever I'm home. No schoolwork gets done. Just continued infatuation with an old-ass wizard. I would give anything to meet dumbledore.
• Drinking so much chocolate milk it makes me wanna puke. Yum
• Listening to NPR a whole lot.
  

When it's raining I can smell summer. But my feet get really cold when I try and go outside. So I don't.

My dog ate my cat's puke and puked. It was a really gross clean-up day for me.

George Castanza seems to label things as "the old switcheroo" frequently. It's confusing

I have eczema on my palms. They are itchy and clammy and disgusting a lot of the time. But I don't wanna put lotion on my hands because it makes it hard to use my iphone without making the screen greasy.


*yes, I went back and edited this. My views on health care are so uninteresting it's embarrassing.

huzzah

spring

is

vundabar.

I have received:
birthday cards, sunshine, comments on my wearing shorts when it's only 45 degrees (suck it, I'm in summer), clothing, a CD with wonderful boppy music perfect for the first time you put your windows down, and a lot of food with wild mushrooms and vadalia onions in it. And cheese.

The sunshine brings me success in school, because I don't hibernate instead of working.

It also means I watch much less TV. Which is kind of a terrible thing. I missed House again this week.

I also write a lot less. But, only you guys read, and I don't really know who you are, or if my color-themed blog (featuring food, jealousy, whining, and olivia wilde) is even interesting anymore.
But, lucky for both of us (!) my good mood and boredom have translated into the return of my blog... hussah. er, huzzah.
ennnnnnthusiasm

I think I might start a journal. But that sounds lame and like a lot of work, so I won't

also, I've become really white and chubby since the start of my hibernation (which happens annually). But, by likening myself to a beluga whale I feel good about it. They're really cute.

in case it isn't immediately apparent, I'm no longer editing or re-reading my posts. So they're going to be a lot of boo-shit. However, it's what you get.

Things I've liked:

sunshine (didn't see that one coming)
my huge family
birthdays
psychology of human sexuality
cupcakes (birthday-related. maybe shouldn't be on the list)
dave matthews band (que verguenza!)
weekends
penis jokes
... poop jokes
anthropologie
spanish 201 (easy peasy, lemon-squeezy)
Summer's slow approach
Alice In Wonderland (HOLY SHIT, more on that in a later-time)

this is gonna be a long post
welcome back to my life

I have listened to the Miseducation of Lauryn Hill for the first time.
Not life-changing. But good, I guess

I like dancing like an old person. Finger-snapping, twirling, head-bobbing, and lots of not sexy hip movement. Mostly to Vampire Weekend.


I watched Psycho for the first time, too. Shit's nuts. I can't believe it didn't win any oscars, especially because it was made in 1960, and nothing else could have been better from back then. It was all black and white, after all.

QUESTION:
Do those evangelist christian people who believe in intelligent design not believe in dinosaurs? Because that alone would be reason not to become one. Museums wouldn't be nearly as fun if they were full of fiction.

is vundabar "wonderful" in german? I think it is.

whining is bullshit
no whining, you bitches
it's springtime.
I won't tolerate that bullshit.
whine
bullshit
whine

PLAY TO WIN
MOTHERFUCKERRRR

* i am not on crack.

Alexa Chung

You are not funny

You have chicken legs (read: too fucking skinny, you should eat a cheese steak or two)

Your interviews with celebrities are awkward and often patronizing. Which is ironic, because you are unqualified to be doing anything at all, especially your job, and even theirs'.

... go find a McDonald's and eat its contents.

so sad

a message I just got from a random person on skype:
"There are thousands of unhappy married women and men in every city, but they DO NOT want to leave their spouse. They want to stay married, but they want to have an affair without ever being caught. Our dating community is extremely popular!

Having an affair can be stressful because you never know if the other person involved is going to get attached to you. You just want to have an intimate encounter and nothing else.

A great thing about this Discreet Dating Community For Married People is that there is no cost to join. You can check it out, see if you like it, and then begin contacting married people for secret intimate encounters.

Press here if you want to have an affair with a married person:
http://www​.treatyour​selftonigh​t.com"

the things we do

you look silly

You can purchase this doozy at Vicoria's Secret

on sale (surprise!) for a mere $13

wonderful.

do it!

I'm captain of a Relay for Life team.
fight cancer.
donate.

here.

no thank you

I don't need a whole episode about Cuddy.


no.
thank.
you.

i learned something today

girlfriend: if you were in a bar, and Beyonce came up to you and tried to make out with you... What would you do?

boyfriend: is jay-z there?

g: no

b: absolutely.

g: what if it was a girl who just looked like beyonce...

b: even more so. Hot normal girls are so much better than hot celebrities

the world might not end... but this is awesome

as is now probably common knowledge (thanks to nicholas cage, obviously) , on december 21st, 2012, the Mayan calendar ends.

Will the world end? I don't think so.

However, I was watching the History Channel today (which weirdly makes me feel much better about not doing homework), and some qualified-looking-people were talking about what this stuff is all about. Apparently, for the first time in human existence, the sun will cross with the milky way... or something.

(After stating this, they said shit about how this could kill everyone. But it wont, because we would have been warned.)

Really cool.

alright, 2013

you've been here for a semester. Have you not yet grown bored of running around hallways screaming about how wasted you are?

calm down and go away.

yeah right, SVU

Elliot Stabler would absolutely not have lasted more than three episodes worth of cases. He would be sued so fast and hard for the shit he pulls. Breaking into houses without warrants (frequently), physically abusing suspects (they try to account for this by having him receive a slap on the wrist once in a while. But not nearly often enough), and touching shit in the crime scenes with his big man-fingers.

I don't believe that shit for a second.

Narwhals

I did not know narwhals were real. I thought they were ocean-bound unicorns, punished by zeus for their puncturing and eating of cyclops babies.

Apparently, they're real. And can swim in packs without hurting eachother, which is the true magic about them.

Robert Downey Jr.

I love you.I love you.I love you.I love you.I love you.I love you.I love you.I love you.I love you.I love you.I love you.

Jennifer Morrison

Is clearly not better than olivia wilde.

Some truth nuggets and a question

Banana bread is scrumptious
Naps are recreational, relaxing, sometimes necessary (often not), and invasive to social activity.
The kleptones are fun to listen to (hip-hopera)
Cheesecake is the fat, kinda smelly, king of desserts
Leotards make going to the bathroom a difficult obligation
I don't have any desire to take a political science class


Where are cat penises?
Some hypotheses from ginger and bearded:

1. The penises are casualties in the war of neutering
2. They are tucked into a kitty skin flap
   
3. All cats have vajayjays
4. The cat penis is a magical appendage which only comes out from it's invisibility charm to mate.
   

Things I don't understand

Part 5: Jersey Shore

Do people really watch this?

If so, why?
hypotheses: So they feel better about themselves
Anthropological studies
They're already braindead

Are these people real? Because, their hair, boobs and tans do not look real. I suspect much more of them isn't, as well.

How do you not throw up when looking at snookie's pursed lips and poofy hair?

Where do they get all that eyeliner?