famous people

at school
doodie.

in other news:
My aunt and uncle own a house in Tortola, a british virgin island, which my family and I stay in bi-annually. My Aunt just got a call from her realtor, who shared some AMAZING news.
There was this guy who rented their house for a week with his wife, who called himself "Mr. Olson" or something in their interactions.
this man turns out to be none other than
JOHNNY DEPP.

I stayed in the same house as johnny depp and his hot french wifey.
Also, that's where my sister is having her honeymoon, which means she'll be having sex in the same bed they did.


awesommmmeeee

something to be realized:
vacation is not equal to vacation-from-brushing-teeth.

sacrifices

thanks to the diet, I have been constantly Hangry.
I used to be nice on the outside, but apparently, I'm not bothering to pretend anymore. Not by choice, it's biological. No more filter!
people might hate me, but at least I'll be thin. Mwahaha

I love nantucket. Everyone should be here for at least a week of their life. Knowing that a place this beautiful exists gives me hope for the post-apocalyptic future, in which I will come here, where things will inevitably still be fabulous, even if my family and I are zombies.

I got burnt today, as expected, and my boobs took the brunt of it. Maybe they'll shrink as a result?
One can only hope.

dedication

ok, I am going back on my lies
this blog is for my talking out of my butthole

THIS blog is for you to laugh at me and my friend, biracial, as we try to lose weight.

the challenge begins soon.

keep up with it.

V-Day

Found on Look At This Fucking Hipster
and I have to say
It's one of the best ideas I've ever seen.
Because bike-riders are inherently vaginas,
(not a bad thing)
and she's just pointing it out.

I ordered one.


UPDATE: I just looked at this picture again, and it grosses me out.

sorry.

new territory

I bet you've never heard a double-lie.

but you're about to feel doubly-tricked

because I'm giving purpose to this blog, because I need to tell someone about my aspirations, or I will find no willpower in making them happen:

I will write about, along with all the other random shit, my journey.
I will lose
10-15 pounds before October tenth.

why?
Because I tried on the bridesmaid dress for my sisters wedding, and it doesn't fit.
Also there's a really terrible picture of me in a bathing suit on facebook that was particularly inspiring.
But mostly the dress.
I must fit into it.

So, I will write down what I eat and do in terms of exercise daily once I get to school

no alcohol, sugar or carbs
only drink water.

and if you know me, you know that I may love sports a lot, but I HATE exercise. More than anything ever.

I might die or fail, but it should be amusing to watch from your end.

with maple syrup

right below Olivia Wilde
is CZJ.

but both of them are after the corn fritters I ate for dinner tonight.

I lied

I've been up to some great shit.

greaaaat shit.
more on that later.
here is a post I wrote late one night in frustration, and my internet wasn't working, so I didn't post it.

until nowsies:

"my blog is pointless
I enjoy it thoroughly, and I have been told it is enjoyed by others

but I find myself posting infrequently, as the honeymoon stage is over. The novelty is worn off, and now I am one of millions who blog. Unexceptional. Enjoyed, if at all, only by those who know me. I am not universally entertaining, informative, nor interesting.

This, I fear is a waste of a web page name. As I know “gray and yellow” is a hot commodity.

So, I am on a mission to find something to blog about. I am generally unqualified to teach anything to anyone, which is OK with me, but makes the task much more difficult.

Maybe I will only write about what I cannot write about, for lack of experience (working out, cooking, dieting, fashion, clubbing, cigarettes, music production, cool underground music that no one has heard of, photography, etc. The list is endless)

Maybe I will write about the process of finding things to blog about, in hopes that it will be something entertaining for someone other than my loyal readers, however few you may be.

Or maybe I will find something I’m good at, or something I am learning to be good at.

Or maybe I can write about the ridiculous things that happen at college (always entertaining)

This is not a diary, nor have I ever intended it to be, so I will reverse the damage done to my dear Gray and Yellow.

One last thing, though, before the transformation:

I realized this morning that I dress according to how difficult my hair is being that day. I get the feeling that most girls get dressed, then do their hair accordingly.
Ah, the virtues of curly hair. It makes the tough decisions for you, wether you want it or not."


I no longer feel this way. I like the pointlessness. Mostly because I'm going back to school, and everything there will have a point, which is lame.

I do, however, feel the same way about my hair. It dictates almost everything I do.

afro

Dayum

olivia!

M+D

"one of the mansonites is coming up for parole"
"they'll never get parole"
"she's dying or something"
"... good."

si, senor

The best word in the universe:

trabajabamos

courtesy of the spanish language.

Foul

big downer, but I'm pissed. Thought I would share why:

http://www.cbsnews.com/stories/2009/07/26/national/main5189831.shtml

what the article doesn't mention:

• the woman driving had a blood alcohol level twice of what it should have been, with undigested vodka still in her stomach
• she had smoked weed less than 30 minutes before the crash was investigated
• she called her brother while she was driving, whose children she was watching that weekend, and said she felt sick (really, she was wasted). He tried to get her to pull over, but she didn't, and the crash ensued
• a two liter bottle of vodka was found in the car (which was not even close to full)

melodramatic, yes, and probably something you didn't need to hear.
But my anger is out of control

people are gross and irresponsible and sad

Observation

There is a lot of tie dye in my closet
and by "in my closet", I mean on my floor.
My floordrobe.

practically on purpose

I do a bathroom run with 9 kids
come back
and Number-One says
"I accidentally peed in my pants. It was an accident. I didn't know I had to go when you asked. I have a change of clothes"

I feel a little bad, but really. I had asked 3 minutes before if anyone had to gooo

and she didnnnn't

and I had to deaallll withhh itttttt

and she's 6. Definitely potty-trained.

intelligence

I do something fairly dangerous fairly often:
Take pictures while driving.

I'm going to start posting what I take, so that my life-threatening habits come to some use.

Good Things

The soup last night was amazing.
Flavorful.
Red.
Awesome.
And there is a huge pot of it left, so if you want any, make the trip through the wilderness to my house. While you're here, you can play my mom and my new game, Diagnosis, in which you make guesses as to what ails me. Really fun.

everyone knows the soup is better the second or third day. You could experience it.


Also: I am now eating a bowl of Just Bunches, which is a beautiful creation. A box full of the best part of the Honey Bunches of Oats----> Da bunchez.

the product of sickness

I am sick
I suspect Lymes Disease. Fucking ticks are satan manifested in woodland parasites

In my sickness, my mother and I are making something absolutely delicious:

Sweet and Sour Cabbage and Beef Soup.

it sounds absolutely terrible, I admit.
but my mother ordered it yesterday on our way home from the Catskills, and it was satisfying in the most wonderful way.

i will report back on our inevitable success

as we cook, we are listening to Tegan and Sara <--- courtesy of Jersey Schorr




also: I have discovered I prefer this terrible sickness to work, and am unsurprised.

Preppy

sweet ass jacket

dark wash matchstick jean

matchstick cord

are things I bought just now

Covering the Bases

The Cake:
From a place in nearby ambler, called Anne's Cake Pan, where a mother of seven, who never anticipated becoming a baker creates beautiful and delicious cakes. We sampled 5 different bakeries, and this woman and her now grown children make the moistest vanilla cake, and buttercream icing so incredible you could die from it. And, they have a person whose job it is to smooth out the buttercream so it looks like fondant, which is essential, because, although pretty, fondant is not nearly as yummie.

In the end, the cake choice was:
Vanilla cake
Lemon buttercream filling
Vanilla buttercream icing

fabulous.

The Vacation:
Too short.

The Driving:
Too long

Work:
Almost over. I couldn't be more excited. It's been pretty painful. My favorite children (yes, I choose favorites. And I'm pretty obvious about it, too) are all leaving, and the children who could have been in the Omen are all sticking around to make my life miserable.

Consequences I Wish I Could Enforce:
If Number-One pees her pants again, I'm quitting
If Blondie eats the shit he picked out of his nose one more time, I'll call him out in front of everyone
If Goldilocks pinches me again, I'll pinch her back
If the Fairy eats any more dirt, I'll force feed him more
If the Goblin cries about not having the "yellow one" when we give shit out, I won't give him anything ever again
If the Waa Waa cries one more time about one more stupid thing, I'll sing Mariah Carey loudly over his misery until he stops

Mom makes me drive.

A very personal question:
is it safe to drive at 5am after going to sleep at 1:30?

I think it should be illegal.
waking up before 8 should be illegal.