keeping score

nantucket is still the best-
it has llamas on it.

suck my dick, other vacation places.

just some things

This morning was nuts.
Policemen, death, statistics quiz, etc.

This afternoon, much better:
drawing toothbrushes and staplers
mint tea
House

Things I am not looking forward to:
running
drawing class
meeting with my psychology group

why I love breakfast:
sausage (always number one)
tater tots
fried eggs
bagels with cream cheese
waffles + pancakes
grapefruit
bacon (sometimes)

prostitute eyes

so, I let my friend put mascara on me last night. It is 7:30 at night the next day, and the black shit is still on my blonde eyelashes. It's all clumped and droopy. I look like a hooker, especially from the side.

also, all the work I have to get done today hasn't been worked on, because Silence of the Lambs was on A&E today, which took out a good 2 hours. And, I woke up at 11, then spent on and a half hours in the dining hall, consuming unbelievable amounts of food:

a bowl of chicken noodle soup
a whole grapefruit
a bagel with obscene amounts of cream cheese
a bowl of runny oatmeal with 2 tablespoons of brown sugar

out of control.
I have a statistics exam first thing tomorrow morning, and have not started studying.
On tuesday I have a weeks worth of drawing homework due, none of which I have actually done

annnnd I didn't run today.

alarm

I woke up 20 minutes before my class started, and it takes me 10 minutes to walk there.
I debated skipping statistics, but I didn't.
Virtue point for mee

fuck

wow
terrible day. The worst in 2 years, i would estimate. But, I did watch 3 episodes of weeds AND sunshine cleaning. Without that, it would be the worst day of all time.
Just to add to the bullshit that is 9/24/09, I didn't run or do any homework, which would normally be awesome, but it makes tomorrow that much worse (because now I have to do both of those things).

fuck that bullshit
I want desperately to just go home. I get increasingly more concerned that I don't have enough time with the people I love, and am frustrated that I am spending so much of it in Shartford, 4 hours (5 if I'm driving) away from them. Worst "city" ever.

to make it all worse, Ingrid Michaelson's new CD, which I stupidly bought instead of stole, is disappointing. Too much slow shit. I'm sure it will grow on me, but for now, it sucks.

If it weren't for that dope-selling mother and her wonderful television show, I don't know what I would do.

shart

In art last night we had to draw 3 different angles of an object.
I stupidly picked an old-ass polaroid camera. All angular and shit. I couldn't even find the shutter-release. It probably doesn't even work. It's probably not even real.
I did one, and he said I was taking too long, and focusing too much. Apparently having imperfect circles is preferred, which is annoying to me. I think squiggly circles are stupid looking.
Also, I drew in pencil, so when we put the pictures up on the wall to analyze, it was impossible to see mine. It sucked. Also, I don't want my cameras analyzed.

above is the aforementioned camera that took too long to draw

Tupper

I saw the new addition to my family last weekend
and he's the shit
So sassy. Tries to play with the big guys

It's a love story, baby just sayyy yessss

You're witty jokes and brilliant piano-playing make me all tingly
I kind of want to stalk you
But arrest and your rejection are legitimate fears
so I won't.
Just know that I would leave my kitty, and move to england and adopt your children
even if they're my age
if you asked me to.

I might ask you to speak in an american accent
I hope that's ok.
You don't have to if you don't want.
If I get sick, which I do a lot, I would want you to diagnose me
and be mean.
But not that mean, because I want to be that girl
who tames the
insensitive, emotionally stunted
douchebag.

Our relationship kind of reminds me
of the one I had with
that badass in the Breakfast club
who hooks up with the unfortunate
(other)
redhead.

You're the shit.
I love you.

the weekend

the goodness that is about to happen is unfathomable.
Things are ready:
I've got my flavored water (tricked you, tummy!)
Tampons (fuuucck)
stupid fucking drawing shitful homework supplies
the camera (you will see the fruits of its labor soon enough)
the textbooks I have yet to open
clothing
and, the ever-essential: de-o for the b.o.

Time to eat some oatmeal, take some advil and go to statistics (which is notably more bearable than that of high school. I don't really wonder why, considering the 5-year-old who teaches the subject in that math-deprived friends school).

Something to leave you wanting mo':





gimme that shit!

these are not normal-looking people

what consoles me: they're probably all huge d-bags

trader joes torture

Have you ever ate so much granola that your jaw hurt when you talked?

Update!

• I bought some white shorts, exemplifying my impracticality and compulsive buying.
• I ate badly today AND didn't run. blech
• Kristen Stewart is overrated and stupid and twilight is silly and lame.
• My mom is getting a puppy for her birthday on saturday. I may have peed my pants as part of my reaction to the news
  
• True Life: Polyamorous Relationship = biggest waste of time ever. I could have told you that any 3/4 person romantic relationship is going to end terribly
• I just spent $115 on art supplies for my drawing 101 class. Probably a waste considering my lack of talent (I can't WAIT to post some of my attempts up here. It will be amusing to say the least)
  
• There is not a word to describe the greatness of beyonce and her body
• The button on my shirt kept popping open, and it was weird for everyone involved
  

in my free time I...

clean out my fan with cotton swabs for 2 hours.
So much dust and cat hair stuck in there. So much.
I know it sounds a little distasteful, but you have no idea how incredibly gross it was. I wish I had a swine flu mask. I know I just breathed in all sorts of spider eggs and shit.

and it's not even clean. It's just not disgusting anymore.

oh, clever boys.

I have to use the boys bathroom, because it's most convenient.
And I'm the RA, so I do what I want.

Today, I found something that totally made hearing boys poop unabashed worth it.
Luckily I bring my iphone everywhere, even the bathroom, so it was duly documented

scenario: when you close the stall door behind you, and sit on the pooper, you see this piece of paper taped in front of you:


then, because you're instantly creeped out and curious, you look up, and indeed, there is a vent:


I'm only upset because I didn't think of it first.

F.U.

I may or may not have signed up for a club called Feminists United.
We meet tomorrow.

I often find myself getting bullied into things I only kind-of care about.
For example: Today the Environmental Action people called me today during dinner, and instead of telling them to calm down, and that my $10 will not begin a wave of sustainable energy use, I said I would send them $10. Oh, and that I would sign up for a newsletter.
I don't really care that much, but he praised me so much when I seemed mildly interested, when, in reality, I was chewing on some cinnamon toast crunch and enjoying it thoroughly.
I also may have given him the wrong address.

Maybe it's better to pretend to care about things that you know are good, but you don't really give a shit about?
I'm starting a cereal club, and calling those environmental people and asking for some funds to buy myself some rice krispies treat cereal. They owe me.

for christmas you can get me...

A BABY!

I'm having serious baby envy. I really want one, but not a real one. I want one for 3 hours a day, so I can feed it pickles and honey nut cheerios, and show people that I have a baby, and have them envy my baby and its pursed pickle-lips. I'm going to go to all babysitting jobs in the future with a jar of pickles, and take obnoxious videos to creepily savor later.
I also want to dress my baby in onesies and cute dresses/overalls. It will have little baby curls, and it will giggle at the squirrels eating trash, and the birds bathing in dirt. It will also fall asleep spontaneously without getting cranky first. A narcoleptic baby would probably be best.

awesome

blech

First day of classes
I woke up way too early (8:00) for my first class (10:50), in hopes of running (which isn't happening)
I'm eating yogurt and granola, which is surprisingly delicious for something mildly healthy (as opposed to last years daily sausage and cream cheese sandwich on a bagel. So good.)
I didn't wash my face again (going on day 4)
I miss mom dad and mousey
I have nothing to wear
I'm not excited for statistics take-2 (stupid pepenis)
I have yet to buy a present for a birthday
I have yet to buy a present for a wedding
I have yet to play the Sims 3 in my dorm room (how this is possible, I don't know)

I wish I was eating sausage instead of yogurt.

glorious

courtesy of Ginger. Thank you so much, cousin.

uni-be-gone!

my friend is going to "thread" my eyebrows tomorrow. Like plucking, but way cooler, and she says it won't hurt as much. Pain is enough for me to keep up my bushy eyebrow look (hence the bushiness now).

As an RA, I have been most unhelpful. Every question the freshman ask, my friends either have to answer, or, if they're not available to do my job for me, I have the residents call campus safety. For everything. And I can't give directions to anything ever. I'm getting paid money for making negative impact on these freshman.

also, the freshman girls are SO GOOD LOOKING. This school is absurd. There should be a ranking for hottest college. I am the person the admissions people accepted so that others would be reminded of what "average" looks like, so as to not take the hottness for granted. I accept my role proudly. Luckily, I'm not as stupid as the freshman. 3 were sent to the hospital last night for alcohol poisoning (the same day they moved in). Soooo classy

I bought my books today, and took a look through the sociology 101 shit. That subject is the epitome of bullshit. Everything about it is conjecture and nonsense.
I am considering it as a major.