so productive

Today I:
Made grilled cheese
imported all my "now that's what I call music" CDs into my iTunes. My mom found them in the attic. So much Jennifer Lopez just entered my life.

The Women

is a terrible terrible movie.
Do not watch it if you have any self-respect, or respect for (yes) other women.



The lesson: Cheaters are fine. Everyone does it, and only after you've been cheated on can you truly know yourself and meet your goals.

The truth: Cheating is never fine, even if it is Eva Mendez. Get out and fuck his car up.

excuse me?

"Hmmm... I'm going to sneak around behind my beautiful, successful, wonderful goddess-wife and cheat on her with...."
"THAT ONE! Yes, the one with the offensive tattoos and no color in her face. I think she's a vampire".


If Sandra Bullock can't hold her man down, the rest of us have no chance. Especially since they aren't evenly matched in the looks department. He should be desperate to stick around, because he obviously can't do any better (refer to the photo above).

rainy day in my spring break

I really love granola and yogurt
and japanese food

Did you know your liver can regenerate?

Not even Oprah could ruin 'Life'. Shit was incredible.

Misconception: that the word "vagina" refers to the whole unit down there. Really, it's just the hole + cavity. "Vulva" is the thing you're usually referring to. Accuracy is impressive in daily discourse.

guilty pleasures (other than tricking myself into thinking these things I say are interesting):

• telling my parents about things I learn in sex class to see if they squirm or not (today's experiment had an affirmative effect. "did you know that guys literally get boners their whole lives? Even in utero". My boyfriend was sitting at the table. In retrospect, probably not a great idea.
• watching "he's just not that into you" a lot. Terrible screenwriting and acting. Great vagina (ha!) movie.
• re-reading harry potter books whenever I'm home. No schoolwork gets done. Just continued infatuation with an old-ass wizard. I would give anything to meet dumbledore.
• Drinking so much chocolate milk it makes me wanna puke. Yum
• Listening to NPR a whole lot.
  

When it's raining I can smell summer. But my feet get really cold when I try and go outside. So I don't.

My dog ate my cat's puke and puked. It was a really gross clean-up day for me.

George Castanza seems to label things as "the old switcheroo" frequently. It's confusing

I have eczema on my palms. They are itchy and clammy and disgusting a lot of the time. But I don't wanna put lotion on my hands because it makes it hard to use my iphone without making the screen greasy.


*yes, I went back and edited this. My views on health care are so uninteresting it's embarrassing.

huzzah

spring

is

vundabar.

I have received:
birthday cards, sunshine, comments on my wearing shorts when it's only 45 degrees (suck it, I'm in summer), clothing, a CD with wonderful boppy music perfect for the first time you put your windows down, and a lot of food with wild mushrooms and vadalia onions in it. And cheese.

The sunshine brings me success in school, because I don't hibernate instead of working.

It also means I watch much less TV. Which is kind of a terrible thing. I missed House again this week.

I also write a lot less. But, only you guys read, and I don't really know who you are, or if my color-themed blog (featuring food, jealousy, whining, and olivia wilde) is even interesting anymore.
But, lucky for both of us (!) my good mood and boredom have translated into the return of my blog... hussah. er, huzzah.
ennnnnnthusiasm

I think I might start a journal. But that sounds lame and like a lot of work, so I won't

also, I've become really white and chubby since the start of my hibernation (which happens annually). But, by likening myself to a beluga whale I feel good about it. They're really cute.

in case it isn't immediately apparent, I'm no longer editing or re-reading my posts. So they're going to be a lot of boo-shit. However, it's what you get.

Things I've liked:

sunshine (didn't see that one coming)
my huge family
birthdays
psychology of human sexuality
cupcakes (birthday-related. maybe shouldn't be on the list)
dave matthews band (que verguenza!)
weekends
penis jokes
... poop jokes
anthropologie
spanish 201 (easy peasy, lemon-squeezy)
Summer's slow approach
Alice In Wonderland (HOLY SHIT, more on that in a later-time)

this is gonna be a long post
welcome back to my life

I have listened to the Miseducation of Lauryn Hill for the first time.
Not life-changing. But good, I guess

I like dancing like an old person. Finger-snapping, twirling, head-bobbing, and lots of not sexy hip movement. Mostly to Vampire Weekend.


I watched Psycho for the first time, too. Shit's nuts. I can't believe it didn't win any oscars, especially because it was made in 1960, and nothing else could have been better from back then. It was all black and white, after all.

QUESTION:
Do those evangelist christian people who believe in intelligent design not believe in dinosaurs? Because that alone would be reason not to become one. Museums wouldn't be nearly as fun if they were full of fiction.

is vundabar "wonderful" in german? I think it is.

whining is bullshit
no whining, you bitches
it's springtime.
I won't tolerate that bullshit.
whine
bullshit
whine

PLAY TO WIN
MOTHERFUCKERRRR

* i am not on crack.